


Little White Lies

by somniumfelix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Dates, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, James and Peter are Supportive as hell, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mentions of amortentia, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Remus Lupin, Oblivious Sirius Black, Panic Attacks, Secret Crush, Stalker, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somniumfelix/pseuds/somniumfelix
Summary: Remus was sick of it! The Ravenclaw had cornered him in the corridors, stalked him and even tried to slip him Amortentia after the full moon! He couldn't spend the rest of the school year running away from the younger boy who'd become no less than obsessed with him, but thankfully, Sirius Black always has a solution to Remus's biggest problems."Get a boyfriend!""H-huh?""It's genius, right?!" Sirius screeched loudly, "You get snatched up, taken off of the market, and then it's obvious that you're not interested! Date them for, like, two months, just long enough for Brady to get the hint to shove off, and then break up with them! It's nothing big, okay? Just a small, tiny, little white lie, alright? Just for a few months."Remus sucked in a breath. "Alright."
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald/Peter Pettigrew, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 43
Kudos: 518





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New fic (that I'll actually finish this time, I promise! <3)  
> The chapters will be a little shorter than normal for my works, but hopefully, I can get the pace okay!
> 
> Love and well wishes to you all, Kudos and Comments appreciated <3<3

Remus slowed down to a jog, then to a walk, glancing over his shoulders after every 5 steps. His breathing was heavy - what did he expect after running around the seventh-floor corridor for fifteen minutes - and he leant over, clutching at his side and he panted. It was rather stupid of him, really, to go running about Hogwarts only two days after the last full moon, but he'd lost him now, and that was all that mattered.

Suddenly, from nowhere, a hand reached out, clutching at Remus's already dishevelled tie and dragging his thin, frail body to the side. The little squeak that made its way out of his throat was awfully embarrassing for a 16-year-old boy and he hoped and prayed it wasn't who he thought it was-

"Sirius?!" Remus hissed, narrowing his eyes at his friend. He'd been dragged into a small alcove covered by a tapestry, and he could barely make out the sharp jawline and high cheekbones in the darkness of the crook. 

"The one and only!" Sirius grinned, gesturing to himself proudly.

"What the fuck?"

"Why have you been avoiding us, Moony?" Sirius quizzed, tilting his head and pouting in a way that made Remus want to slap (kiss) the look off of his face.

"I haven't been avoiding you."

It wasn't a lie.

Huffing exasperatedly, Sirius rolled his eyes, leaning closer to Remus. There really wasn't enough room in the small hole in the wall Sirius had dragged them into, and it would only take half a step for he and Remus to end up chest to chest, noses touching. Remus willed for his heart to slow down just a little, sure that Sirius could hear the  _ thump-thump-thump _ ing against his ribcage.

"Yes, you were! You just totally ran off after breakfast and we didn't see you again!"

"Well, I wasn't avoiding  _ you _ , okay?" Remus huffed in return, already shattered from spending a Saturday running around the castle when he  _ should  _ have been in bed, recovering and studying.

"Then who?" Sirius questioned with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Christopher Brady..." Remus muttered, dropping his head.

"What, Ravenclaw fifth year, short blond hair, needs to pull his head from his arse?"

"The very same."

Sirius looked at him pointedly, trying to encourage him to continue, and Remus did do with a groan.

He told Sirius everything, starting from the week before.

It started with just a few glances, Remus feeling like he was being watched at mealtimes. It took him three days to find where the stares were coming from - the underclassman sat at the Ravenclaw table, head stuffed into a book and watching Remus from over the top of it. Remus hoped he'd eventually start to look away when Remus paid him no attention, but it only got worse. Next thing he knew, Brady was waiting for him after lessons, trying to speak to him in the corridors, which never ended well as Remus entirely dismissed him, and Remus was sick of it!

When he emerged from the Hospital Wing the afternoon after the Full Moon, he was met with Christopher Brady's beaming face, hands stretched outwards and a Chocolate Frog box on his palms - 'I heard you were ill!' he'd declared with fervour, shoving the gift into Remus's hands and skipping off.

Lupin returned to the dorms, he unboxed the gift, never able to turn down chocolate.

But when the Chocolate Frog smelt of warm leather jackets, old books and wet animal fur, he knew the 'present' had been doused in Amortentia.

He promptly threw the chocolate in the bin.

Then came to that morning; Brady was staring more intently than usual, likely wondering why Remus wasn't crawling over to him on his knees, begging for his affections, and Remus freaked, running out of the Great Hall without giving the confused Marauders at the table another look.

"You could have just come back to the dorms!" Sirius laughed as Remus finished his explanation, throwing his hands up at Moony's stupidity.

"I tried!" Remus pleaded, "But when I turned the corner and began to head down the stairs, he was waiting outside of the portrait! He spotted me and began to head towards me, so I just- I just ran! Stop laughing, you bastard!" Remus shouted, slipping out a little laughter of his own as Sirius ended up doubled over, clutching his stomach as he continued to cackle wildly.

"I-its just so  _ funny _ !" He cried, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. However, when he finally calmed, he stood up straight to see Remus, eyes looking down to the floor and he gnawed on his lip, shuffling from foot to foot. "Moony?"

"I'm just worried, you know?" Remus looked up, amber eyes meeting grey, and Sirius saw the same scared look in his face that he'd become so acquainted with back in their first year. "W-what if he starts paying too much attention, Sirius? He might not be over this stupid crush in a months time, and he might notice- notice a pattern, I guess? He's already tried to slip me Amortentia, what if he tried Veritaserum next? What if I end up telling everyone-"

"Hey!" Sirius cut him off, grabbing Remus's shoulders and shaking him back and forth, letting his head loll around. He smiled, trying to reassure his friend. "It won't come to that, okay? We just need a plan..." He mumbled, following Remus's shuffling as he tried to think of how to get Remus out of the situation he found himself in.

"Okay, for starters, no eating or drinking anything you haven't prepared yourself or  _ seen  _ being made, alright? We can sneak to the kitchens after meals and watch the house elves make it so we know it hasn't been tampered with."

"We?" Remus cocked his head at his friend.

"Of course,  _ we _ ! We're the moon and the stars, Remy! It's us against the world!" Sirius beamed, filling Remus's heart with such affection it made him dizzy. Remus's eyes softened as he looked at Sirius, desperate to pull his friend into a hug.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, you know?" Lupin bubbled, smirking at his friend. "So that eliminates the prospect of being poisoned or whatever, but what about the rest of it? I can't deal with a stalker!"

Pondering for a moment longer, Sirius's eyes began to sparkle and he snapped his fingers, decidedly pleased with whatever revelation he'd come to.

"Get a boyfriend!"

_ What? _

"H-huh?"

"It's genius, right?!" Sirius screeched so loud that hiding in the alcove was no longer necessary - anyone would be able to hear where they were. "You get snatched up, taken off of the market, and then it's obvious that you're not interested! Date them for, like, two months, just long enough for Brady to get the hint to shove off, and then break up with them!"

"Sirius, I can't have a boyfriend! The whole point of this is so no one finds out about my furry little problem. Dating someone totally negates that!" Remus cautioned in a voice, trying to make it clear that this  _ must  _ have been obvious to begin with.

"Just date someone who knows, then!"

"Oh, yeah, genius Pads!" Remus glared, voice dripping with sarcasm, "So I have you, Prongs, Wormy or Lily! Lily is already off the table - I'm a good actor when I want to be but I will not act straight for any length of time. James is too infatuated with Lily for anyone to believe that, and Pete wouldn't be able to lie about it for longer than thirty seconds!" He concluded, dropping his hands exhaustedly, face choleric and sardonic.

"Well then," Sirius stated soberly, folding his arms over his chest. His face was unreadable, but Remus knew exactly what he was insinuating.

_ No, no nononononono! _

Remus was not going to fake date Sirius under any circumstance, never ever.

"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea, Padfoot," Remus said cooly.

"Why not?" He pouted back.

Why not? Remus had a whole list in his mind tucked away ready to answer that question.

Because they were best friends was of course first on the list! What if something went wrong?! Remus wouldn't be able to live with himself if he lost his best friend and fellow Marauder over some stupid pretend dating. Not to mention how awkward it would be when the eventual break up came about! How were they meant to convince people they had broken up while also still being best friends?

Oh, and the fact that Sirius Orion Black was the one boy that Remus had been pining over since Halloween Second Year might have had something to do with it, too.

"It'd be weird, wouldn't it?" Remus finally settled with. "We'd have to hold hands and cuddle and act all..."

"Couply?" Sirius filled in with a chuckle.

"Exactly!"

Sirius leant back against the wall, arms still across his chest and head now tilted a little upwards. He looked down at Remus with lowered eyelids and a smirk able to make Remus's heart stop.

"I think I could manage it," He needled.

He tried, tried oh so hard to muster up every ounce of self-restraint he had to try and say no, to tell Sirius to leave him be and that he'd deal with it. But the idea of being able to get rid of his strangely attracted stalker and date Sirius for a couple of months was too strong of a prospect, and he found himself nodding before he could even register.

"Ugh! Fine!" He sighed, and Sirius made no hesitation to wrap his arms around Remus, hugging him gleefully.

"Yay!"

"But we need ground rules!" Remus said, shaking Sirius off and looking at him fixedly again. "Firstly, no flirting with anyone else! We need to be convincing!" 

"You have my honour!" Sirius smiled brightly, hand on his heart.

"We don't kiss, either, okay?" Remus said flatly.

"Still waiting on that perfect first kiss, are we, Lupin?" Sirius teased, lightly kicking his friend's shin.

Remus rolled his eyes, pointedly ignoring the comment. "And we tell James and Peter about it so they know what's going on."

"No, no no no!" Arms flailing about, Sirius seemed to panic. "That's an awful idea!"

"Why?"

"You said it yourself!" He cried, "Peter is utterly incompetent at lying-"

"Big words for you, Pads."

"-So everyone would know it was bullshit after like, a day! No, this needs to stay between us!"

Remus knew he sighed a lot when in Sirius's presence, but this seemed to be breaking a new record.

"No, no, you're right," He puffed, "Okay, so we lie to them too. We, uh, we should head back to the dorm and tell them, then? If anyone can get Brady to hear about us... dating by tomorrow, it's them."

Sirius moved forwards, using his knee to push Remus's legs apart. With one hand, he grabbed his friends chin to make him look at him, while the other hand rested on Remus's hipbone beneath his robes. Sirius leant close, and then closer still, until Remus could feel his 'boyfriends' breath on his own lips.

"Anything for you, sweetheart," He smirked, laughing lowly. Remus felt heat rushing to his face, and opened his mouth to say something, anything, words failing him entirely. Sirius began to laugh again, light and a little taunting. "Wow, if you get this flustered that easily, these next few months are gonna be a blast!" 

Face still flushed, Remus pushed Sirius back against the wall, shouting a 'Screw you, Pads!' before throwing the tapestry aside and storming out of the alcove, followed by a smug and giggling Sirius, skipping along behind him.

They began to head back to the dorms, walking shoulder to shoulder now Remus had calmed down, both from his agitation and anger. Sirius hopped along, bounce in his step, seemingly unaware of the anxiety radiating from Remus as he shuffled along the corridor, lip between his teeth and eyes locked to the ground.

Turning the corner one last time and walking down the last set of stairs, the couple made it to the Gryffindor landing. Sirius muttered the password and The Portrait Of The Fat Lady swung open and they walked in.

Gryffindor common room was warm and cosy, as opposed to the rest of the castle, but was lacking students similar to the Hogwarts corridors. With most students only just returning from their trip to Hogsmead, the only people in the room was a small huddle of first years in front of the fire studying.

They began to walk through, heading towards the staired leading to the dormitories.

Remus finally broke the silence.

"How did you even find me, anyway?" He questioned. He'd successfully bypassed Christopher Brady by avoiding all of his usual spots, and yet Sirius still managed to find him. Then, withdrawing his hand from the pockets of his robes, Sirius waved a seemingly blank piece of parchment in Remus's face. He responded with a silent 'ah' as they reached the top of the stairs.

"Oi! Give that back, you rat!" James screeched from the inside, followed by loud laughter from Peter, both boys muffled by the door, "I spent good fucking money on that! I bought it, I wanna eat it!"

"Not a chance in hell, antler-boy! I paid for Butterbeer, I can have one of your Jelly Slugs, alright?!"

Remus reached up for the handle of the dormitory door, but Sirius took his friend's hand in his own, giving it a comforting squeeze. His heart was still in his throat, and he wasn't looking forward to lying to his friends, but it would be worth it, and Remus knew he couldn't be doing it with a more amazing person than Sirius.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really," Remus admitted, chewing on his lip once again, not looking his friend - or boyfriend, now, he supposed - in the eye. "You know I don't like lying and secrets. I have enough of that every day of my life, Sirius."

"It's nothing big, okay? Just a small, tiny, little white lie, alright? Just for a few months."

Remus sucked in a breath. "Alright."

"Ready?" Sirius asked, smiling a little nervously - Remus knew he wouldn't enjoy lying either, not to James, his brother in all sense but blood, but he was doing this for Moony and it made it all the more better. 

Squeezing his hand back a little, Remus smiled, looking over to Sirius and catching his gaze.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Sirius pushed open the door slowly, and they took a step in, still hand in hand, to see James and Peter wrestling on a bed, a packet of Jelly Worms being thrown between them and various other sweets being crushed between their bodies and Pete's bed.

Sirius gave a throaty cough, in hopes to draw attention to them, but it failed, and the sounds of Peter's squeals and James's frustrated laughter echoed around the dorm walls.

"Oi! Pricks!" Remus shouted, already too tired to deal with everything else going on; his friends acting like first years was the last thing he needed, and he felt no shame in the insult he used to shut them up.

"Oh, hey Moony!" James smiled, still laying on top of Peter who was now wheezing underneath his friend's body. "We've been worried about you you know! Didn't know where you went off to this morning! But, Wormy and I bought you some chocolate back and-" 

He fell silent, eyes finally catching where Sirius's fingers were interlocked with Remus's, and his face grew shocked, jaw dropping and eyes widening. Peter, having recovered from his laughing fit, was now also silent, wearing a similar aghast expression to James, eyes flicking between Padfoot and Moony.

"Uh, so, we need to tell you guys something," Sirius began, rubbing the back of his neck and squeezing Remus's hand once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm excited for the rest of this fic! I really hope people enjoy this chapter! <3<3

"Wait, wait, wait!" James shouted, face red and hands flailing. Peter was sat next to him, cross-legged on James's bed, mouth fallen open as his eyes flickered between the couple in shock. 

After walking into the room and interrupting the pairs wrestling match, they sat down (James and Peter on one bed, and Sirius and Remus on Sirius's bed, directly opposite). Padfoot kept his hand in Remus's as they (as Sirius) explained how they'd been pining over each other for years, and finally talked it out, and they were together now. Remus tried to ignore how his chest ached a little as Sirius lied so smoothly, knowing that it was true, at least one-sidedly, anyway.

Sirius had come out to James late fourth year, and Remus did the same soon after, unable to keep secrets from the other Marauders, so they homosexuality wasn't the issue. But, for some reason, both boys ended up with blown eyes, leaning forwards and mouths open wide. 

James, in particular, didn't seem to be taking the news so well...

"You-!" James pointed to Remus with a shaking finger, "-And you!" He cried again, finger now directed towards Sirius.

"Yes, Prongs, for the last fucking time!" Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remus wondered if he silently wished he'd never offered to help Moony in the first place. "Now can you stop pointing?! Did your mum never tell you that's rude?" He scoffed.

"I- I just... I can't believe-"

"Spit it out, Jamie!"

Remus, already regretting this stupid plan only ten minutes in, looked over to Peter to try and stop the argument brewing up between the brothers.

"Uh, you have anything to say about this, Wormtail? I know this might be a bit of a shock but-" He was cut off as he heard Peter mumble something under his breath, lips never quite fully closing and eyes still fixated on the new couple. "What was that, Pete?" Remus tried to clarify.

He didn't look away from Remus and Sirius, just elbowed James in the side and mumbled again.

"I want that money, Prongs."

_ What?! _

"You  _ bastards _ !" James suddenly cried, leaping from his spot on the bed and storming to his trunk and rummaging around in it. "I had so much fucking money riding on you two and now I owe Ratboy, like, so many galleons! Come on,  _ really _ ? I can't believe you two!" Pulling his head from within his trunk, he threw a hefty, rattling bag onto Reter's lap, causing the shorter boy to wince, before his face lit up at the sight.

"Thank you, good sir!" He smirked, delving his hand into the bag and wiggling his fingers about in the coins.

Remus hoped - hoped and prayed and pleaded - that Sirius was just as confused as he was.

"Okay, what the fuck?" Sirius hissed, tightening his grip on Remus's hand. Letting out a sigh of relief, Remus realised his boyfriend was just as confused as he was. "If one of you absolute  _ wankers  _ would like to explain what the hell is going on, that would be bloody fantastic!" 

Muttering a thanks to Sirius, Moony leant forward, glaring a little at his friends to prompt an answer.

"Well," James began, hopping back into the bed stroppily, "I thought it wouldn't happen until seventh year because, well, you're gay idiots-"

"Oi!"

"-But Pete thought it would be this year! And he was damn right!"

Now was Remus's turn to flail his arms about, shaking his head and trying not to scream in chaos and tiredness and dizziness.

"You thought  _ what  _ wasn't going to happen until next year?!" He shouted a little uncharacteristically after the Full, but the pure confusion running through his veins justified the volume.

"You two getting together, of course!" James pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Peter, upon seeing the confusion on his friend's faces, let out a little laugh.

"We could see you two pining after each other since the end of second year! And so, after...  _ everything _ .... last year, and you guys made up we knew it wouldn't be long until you finally became an item!"

"...So?" Sirius prompted again.

"We placed bets!"

"You did what, now?" Sirius, voice sickly sweet, leant forward and scowled.

"We placed bets as to when you two were gonna shack up!" Said James, bright eyes and pleased with himself.

"You did WHAT?!" Sirius screeched again, leaping up from the bed and delving towards James and Peter, hands stretched out in fury. Thankfully, Remus expected the outrage, and instinctively wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, pulling the raging Sirius down onto his lap with a huff. He wriggled for a little longer, trying to prize Remus's hands from his body as Prongs and Wormtail laughed, before eventually calming, settling his back against Remus's chest reluctantly. 

James continued to laugh, wiping tears building in the corners of his eyes as Peter wheezed next to him, "He has you  _ so whipped _ , Sirius! Why did we never get you two together years ago!?"

Sirius began to shuffle about again, but after a 'Calm it, Sirius' from Remus, he muttered his apologies and pressed further into Remus. Heat rushed to Moony's face as he realised he'd just pulled Sirius down  _ onto his lap _ and held him there. It was utterly mortifying - but as the older boy made no other complaints and instead rested his hands over Remus's where they were placed on his stomach, he decided to just leave it be. Perhaps this would be one of those occasions where Remus could pretend that Sirius felt the same way, and would just live in the moment instead of scurrying off, red-faced and shaking with 'I love yous' dancing on the tip of his tongue. Then again, it seemed as though occasions like these would be happening  _ a lot _ in the near future.

"Okay, let's just get this all out in the open," proposed Remus, taking charge of the conversation. "Yes, Pads and I are together. No, we didn't know you guys expected it," (He said this with a little more harshness, just enough for Sirius to notice and tense in Remus's lap), "No, we aren't happy that you guys were betting on us-"

"But it was pretty funny though."

"- _ But _ , yes, it was kind of funny."

"I guess..." Sirius grumbled, a small smile playing on his lips as he tried to keep frowning. "Your support would mean the world though, guys."

"Support?" Peter questioned, seemingly taken aback at the question. Stiffening his back, Remus began to panic. He knew homophobia didn't exist in the wizarding world, but Muggles were less forgiving. While Hope Lupin was perfectly content with her son's preferences, Peter's upbringing might not have been the same. Sure, he was fine when Sirius and Remus came out, but he might be totally different now that it was in front of his face, and between his best friends no less.

Remus let out a sigh of relief, and felt Sirius do the same, as Wormtail continued. "Of course you have our support, you daft idiots! I've never seen two people make each other as happy as you two make each other! Easily the cutest couple in Hogwarts, you know," Peter preened, grinning widely as Remus readily tightened his grip around Sirius, smiling into his back and pretending once again that this was all real. Maybe one day, if Peter was right, it would be...

"Man, I need to snatch up Evans as soon as just do we're cuter than you two!" James chuckled, smiling the same as Peter and shaking his head a little.

"Speaking of Hogwarts," Peter continued, still smiling at Remus and Sirius, "Is this-" he gestured between the couple, "-A thing to be kept quiet? Just between us four?"

Remus opened his mouth and almost began to shout out,  _ "Yes! Between us! I think I'll die a little on the inside if we have to act all cutesy in front of anyone else!" _ , but had his spontaneous thoughts shoved away by Sirius's smooth lying and happy smile. 

"No, we- uh, we feel like we've kept this - kept us - secret for so long already, honestly, we want everyone to know right away." He squeezed the back of Remus's hand a sure sign of comfort.

"Really?"

"Mhm," Remus nodded, not trusting himself to open his mouth for fear of denials slipping out ('Yes! Tell the whole world I'm fake dating the love of my fucking life!')

With no hesitation whatsoever, James leapt from his spot on the bed, standing upright and putting his hands on his hips.

"Well come on then!" He beamed, marching defiantly to the dorm door.

Peter was next to follow, smirking to himself, and Sirius steadily slid from his spot on Remus's lap, trailing after their friends, hand in hand once again.

They made it to the common room, with Peter and James only a few paces ahead. 

The common room had filled considerably more since the couple returned to the dorms, with a number of fifth, sixth and seventh year students dotted about. The previous first years had scurried off with the arrival of the older kids, and it seemed as though the third and fourth year students were hiding in their dorms after returning from Hogsmead. It was crowded, far too crowded for Remus's liking, but he felt safe stood next to Sirius, fingers laced together.

Barely having time to spot Lily Evans in the common room and giving her a quick wave and smile, Remus could see James cup his hands around his mouth and take in a big breath.

"Oi! Announcement! Listen up!" James's voice bellowed around the common room, silencing every student who turned their head towards the Marauders.

"Get on with it then, Toerag!" Lily called from her spot near the fireplace.

"They're finally dating!" Was all Peter shouted, sounding as smug as he looked.

There was a heartbeat of silence until the room exploded into loud cheers and praises. Finding himself wincing at the noise, Remus went to cover his ears before remembering his left hand was still being held by Sirius.

Lily's voice shouting out 'Fucking finally!' could be heard amongst the rest of the voices, and Remus was  _ so sure _ he saw Marlene Mckinnon pass her girlfriend, Dorcas Meadowes, a handful of sickles.

_ What the hell?!  _ Had the whole of Gryffindor been betting on them?!

"So much of Gryffindor were betting on when you guys were gonna get together!" James responded to Remus's inner thoughts, smiling as various groups of students dragged all four Marauders further into the room.

Remus wasn't sure how it happened, or when, but it must have been fast as all of a sudden he was plonked down on the sofa, James next to him and Peter after that. With no room left, Sirius found himself shoved onto Remus's lap once again by other students, who began firing questions faster than he could even recall.

Remus felt hot, skin on fire, he could feel the sweat beading on his upper lip and the back of his neck and he suddenly found the urge to tug at the front of his sweater, trying to cool down.

"When did it happen?!" 

"This afternoon, while everyone was out!" Sirius smiled, not knowing where (or rather, who, of the large crowd) to direct his answer.

His breaths became short, ragged little pants, and he found his chest tightening every time he tried to take in a deep breath.

"Shagged yet?"

"Bit personal, mate!" James answered for them.

His hands shook, unsteady as he played with the hem of his sweater, unable to tune out the shrill sound of the crowd echoing in the room.

"Who asked who out?"

"I think Sirius asked Remus, by the sounds of it?" Peter piped up, seeming a little unsure of himself.

Remus opened his mouth to scream and shout and holler, before finding his throat dry, any sounds coming out as croaky gasps. It felt like he was trapped right under his own skin, begging to be freed. It felt like the wolf, clawing at him from the inside out.

"Are you, like, in love with him?" The question was directed towards Sirius, not in a way of disgust, but simple curiosity.

"Yeah," Sirius replied softly, twisting a little to face Remus, smiling down at the boy, "Yeah, I am.  _ Moony _ ?" The last part he whispered, eyes narrowed a little as he caught his boyfriend's wide eyes and frantic breathing.

"N-need air..." He muttered quietly, not meeting Sirius's eye. His friends face turned nervous, before he stood up and shouted something unintelligible to Remus, followed by similar loud calls from James and then Peter.

"Get him out... can't breathe... water!"

Suddenly, he found himself pulled up and dragged around, but tuned out the sounds around him. He stayed focused on his feet, which were now moving, shuffling along the carpet and then stepping over some sort of ledge. The noise began to quiet, becoming muffles and then silencing, and cold air hit Remus's clammy skin, sending shivers down his spine.

He finally took in a deep breath.

Looking around, he saw the grand staircase, all the pictures he'd become familiar with over the years, the Gryffindor common room entrance slowly closing. 

"Remus, Remy, hey, look at me, okay love?" Sirius was stood in front of Remus, hands lightly on his shoulders and looking at him in the eyes, amber meeting grey in the dim light of stairway. "Just follow my breathing, alright? In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, and out, two, three, four..." He counted rhythmically, and Remus did his best to follow the pattern, staring into Sirius blankly. 

He could feel himself shaking under Sirius's hands, but after a nondescript amount of time - after who knows how many counts of 'two, three, four' - he could feel his sweaty, sticky skin beginning to dry, hair stuck to his forehead. His breathing became less pained, less tense, and he slowly counted along with Sirius, mumbling quietly as his shoulder relaxed. His legs felt weak, barely holding up his body weight, and he felt he could collapse with exhaustion any moment now.

Padfoot, ever the caring friend with the keen eye, moved Remus a little until he was leaning slump against the wall.

"How are you feeling now, Rem?" Sirius asked, voice low. He bought his hand to Remus's forehead, pushing the curls stuck to his skin upwards, slipping his fingers through the wet hair.

"Hmm, a little better..." He murmured sleepily, feeling his eyes dropping a little as Sirius kept his fingertips running over Remus's scalp.

"Merlin, Moons! You gave me a fright! You haven't gotten like that since-"  _ Since last year. _

Snorting quietly to himself, Remus's shoulders shook a little. " _ You gave me a fright. _ Ha, posh boy..." He smiled, "Really, I'm okay now, I just got... overwhelmed. Don't you- I mean, you don't really want to be lying, do you? We didn't prepare, we'll get caught out, and it'll end in a mess! We're bringing so much attention to us, Padfoot!" Remus panicked, chewing on his fingernails.

Sirius's eyes turned a little sad for a moment. His hand kept moving through Remus's hair, and he smiled fondly.

"Hey, don't you panic, okay? I'll carry us through this if I have to! If you wanna stop, then we can, but I promise you that I'll look after you and make sure that Christopher Brady doesn't get to you and that no one finds out we're lying."

"Really?"

"Yes, my moonshine, I'll protect you! Trust me," Sirius said defiantly, hands on his hips like a dramatic superhero, and seemingly oblivious to the blush spreading over his friend's cheek.

Moonshine? That was a new one Remus hadn't heard before, but he wasn't about to start complaining about the new appearance of nicknames.

"Okay, my starlight," He teased back, voice still a little quiet and hoarse, "I trust you. Now can we go and sleep? I'm exhausted," He huffed a laugh.

"Yeah, Rem, let's get you to bed!" Sirius ruffled his boyfriend's hair one last time, before murmuring the password and heading back to the dorm.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laDHLKJSF oblivious idiots
> 
> enjoy <3

Sirius's finger's ghosted over Remus's neck as he flattened the collar down. Their faces were close, breath mingling and noses millimetres from each other.

"There you go! All sorted!" Sirius beamed brightly, tugging the tie a little before brushing the hair from Remus's forehead.

"Thanks, Pads!" Smiling back, Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to look at his friend's handiwork in the mirror.

Walking through the room, buttoning his shirt frustratedly, James began to mutter.

" _ Ooh, look at us, we're all cute and adorable and in love! _ Screw you guys!" James huffed sarcastically, flopping onto his bed and flipping up his collar to put on his own tie.

"Chill, Prongs!" Sirius laughed, now standing in the mirror next to Remus, slipping their hands together. "I've always done Moony's tie for him! You know that! What's so cute and adorable about it now that we're together?"

Sirius was right - ever since he realised Remus, who was exceptional at a lot, was utterly hopeless at tying a tie, he's insisted being the one to make sure Moony was appropriately dressed in the mornings. It was, in fact, these daily occurrences of Sirius's hands lightly on his neck, eyes boring into his own, lip between his teeth as he focused on the Half-Winsor in front of him, that made Remus consider that his feelings towards his friend were  _ just a little more _ than platonic.

"Well, it's just that," Peter began, ruffling his hair, "James and I thought it was always cute and, well, romantic in a way. Just the way you looked at each other was adorable! We never said anything because we thought you should figure out your feelings in your own time. Now that you're together-"

"I can complain as much as I want!" James shouted, clearly amused, "Stop being so damn soppy all the time!"

Remus felt his heart stop - did people really believe he and Sirius were in love? Even before they were 'together', James and Peter thought they were more than friends! Sure, Remus looked at Sirius in a way that could have been considered a little more than friendly, but Sirius would never look at him that way! The other Marauders - and the rest of Gryffindor, for that matter - were simply imagining it.

The Marauders (including a calmer James Fleamont Potter) made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The sound of their footsteps on the stone flooring was accompanied by Peter ranting and raving about needing to wear their uniform for Apparation Classes, but Remus found himself more distracted with Sirius's hand in his own and his friends' previous comments.

They settled in their normal spots on the bench - Remus and Sirius always sat together, with James opposite Sirius and Peter opposite Remus - and they tucked into their breakfast. Peter questioned why Moony wasn't eating, and shrugged off his reply of 'not hungry', also missing the side glance he exchanged with Sirius.

It wasn't long before the Marauders were joined by four others, skipping over with giggles and chatting.

Mary Macdonald instantly took the empty spot next to Peter and swooped him up in friendly (flirty) conversation, while Lily came and sat next to Remus, smiling and greeting him and the other boys (pointedly ignoring Potter, of course.) Marlene and Dorcas sat beside Sirius, hand in hand and looking at each other dreamily. Marlene only looked away when she turned to Remus, looking past Sirius to speak to him.

"Heya, Rem! How are you today? You scared us last night! We'd have come and checked on you but thought you could do with the space..." She smiled wistfully.

"I'm good," Remus grinned back, "I'm fine now, just got a little overwhelmed. Lots of people, loud noises. I just freaked," He laughed it off, rubbing at the back of his head.

Dorcas, hands still held by her girlfriend, spoke with him a little about how she sometimes got like that, and how grateful she was for Marlene to help her through.

"It's good you have Sirius to help you, you know!" She said, looking fondly at the fake couple.

"Speaking of," Marlene spoke up again, a mysterious glint in her eyes, "One thing never got answered last night! How did it all happen? I wanna know how the second cutest couple in Hogwarts got together!"

"I hope you mean second to me and Evans!" James winked, and flinched as, what Remus guessed, his shin was kicked by Lily from under the table.

For the second time that morning, Remus could feel his heart sinking down, down, down, and he writhed as he realised that asking someone to be your fake boyfriend from behind a tapestry on the seventh floor was not the romantic get-together story that people wanted to hear! How could he come up with a convincing lie on the spot when-

"Well!" Sirius began, winking at Remus and placing a comforting hand on his knee. It seemed flirty to everyone else, but Remus knew exactly what it meant.

_ 'Yes, my moonshine, I'll protect you! Trust me.' _

"After James and Peter buggered off to Hogsmede yesterday, I went and set up before going to find My Moony. He was in the library, of course, but I dragged him up to the Astronomy Tower! That's a really special place for us..." He was right, of course. That was where Remus had ran off to when the others found out he was a werewolf. It took Sirius hours to get Remus to calm down and come back to the dorms, but he succeeded and it soon became their little safe place. "I'd set up a little picnic! Not much, just a blanket out and some charmed lights, with a view over the Black Lake. We sat, and talked, and then I finally blurted out-"

"Rather unceremoniously, I must add!" Remus threw in for realism, smirking at Sirius who rolled his eyes in jest.

"-About how I'd been in love with him since the day we met, and how I couldn't go another day without him knowing how I felt. I told him that I desperately hoped he felt the same way and I'd give him the moon and the stars to call him my boyfriend..." He trailed off, looking at Remus with enamoured eyes, moving his hand to hold Remus's as his boyfriend leaned into him a little more.

They stared into the eyes of each other, Remus watching the storm of emotions flickering in Sirius's grey iris's, and for a moment, just a moment, he pretended that everything Sirius had said was true. Then, as though the universe saw how happy he was and had to put him back in his place, the moment was broken with a throaty cough.

Remus looked up, expecting it to perhaps be one of his friends, but instead realised someone was stood behind him and Sirius. He shifted around to see a mop of flat blond hair he'd hope to not have seen again for a while. Glaring a little at the owner of the cough, Remus swung his legs over to have his back to the Gryffindor Table.

"H-hey Remus! Could I speak to you for a moment? Alone, please," Christopher Brady smiled, voice shrill and sending shivers up Remus's spine. He looked pointedly at the small crowd of friends around them, eyes narrowing a little on Sirius - who'd also spun around and begun to glare at the boy.

"No, you can't. Whatever you have to say to my boyfriend you can say in front of me. In front of all of us." Sirius spat, looking at Brady with disgust and rubbing his thumb over the back of Remus's hand.

"I don't think what I have to say will be entirely appropriate for other ears,  _ Black _ ."

"What do you want, Brady? And you can say whatever it is right here, or not at all," Remus huffed, already exhausted by the underclassman's mear presence. Remus had his back faced to the others, but he could imagine the various looks of confusion adjoined with protectiveness from Sirius and unexplained anger from James and Peter - whoever Remus was mad at, they were mad at too.

"I've been really nice to you, you know? I've tried talking to you, and being friendly, and yet you chose  _ that _ -" He scanned Sirius, setting alight a fire of rage in Remus's chest as his face scowled, seemingly revolted by the sight of Sirius. "-Over someone like me!"

"You have nothing on Sirius," Remus answered honestly.

"Really? I'm smarter, for one!" Brady announced cockily, hands on his hips.

"My Siri is incredibly clever, thank you."

"I'm more humble!"

James scoffed in the background, and even Lily made a similar disapproving sound at the Ravenclaw.

"I'm better looking!"

Now was Sirius's turn to chip in, snarling a, "You wish," and tossing his hair back in a way that always made Remus's knees weak.

Brady now folded his arms over his chest, eyebrows furrowed and leant over Sirius, who was still sat on the bench.

"Why would he date the disowned Black?! I mean, look at you! Even your mother couldn't stand the sight of you anymore! Your  _ daddy  _ is off to who knows where, and all the letters you send to your precious little brother come back unread! Even  _ he  _ doesn't want a thing to do with you!"

Sirius's eyes had clouded over, shining with tears that were no doubt brewing, but he made no effort to shut the kid up. Nor did anyone else. They froze, shocked at the idea of a younger student even considering talking to someone like that. Remus's voice failed him, and it took all his restraint to not knock the boy out, desperate for the wolf to clamber out from under his skin to shred at Brady's body. No one could talk to Sirius like that and get away with it.

"You ran away, sure, but you're just like all of them! I bet you're just itching for the Death Eaters to get their hands on your half-blood boyfriend, aren't you? I can't understand for a second why someone as amazing as Remus would choose a pathetic, cowardly, disgusting little lowlife like you!"

"Don't you dare speak about him like that!" Remus shrieked, baring his teeth as he stood up from his seat, hand still firmly interlocked with Sirius's. The pair were now face to face, noses close and Remus continued to no less than snarl.

"Moony, love..." Sirius began quietly, trying to tug his friend back onto the bench. The whole hall was watching now, eyes fixated on Brady and Lupin glaring at each other - even the teachers watched on, slack-jawed and stunned. Where were they five seconds ago when Sirius was being downright harassed?!

"No, Sirius! I'm not going to sit there while he talks about my boyfriend like that!"

Remus was shaking with fury, hand grabbing painfully tight onto Sirius's. His whole body felt hot, and his boyfriend's hand in his was the only thing stopping him from reaching out and punching him.

A small voice in the back of his head called to him -  _ He's not really your boyfriend! You don't need to get so protective! He'll find it weird! _ \- but wasn't speaking louder than the urge to  _ attack _ .

"Come on, Remus!" Brady's voice turned from hostile to pleading within a second, hands balling into fists as he tried to smile at Lupin. "I'm just being honest, I'm just better-"

"No, you are not!" Remus hissed, no longer concerned with keeping quiet. There was no one else now - no Marlene and Dorcas looking on in shock, no Lily and Peter mumbling curses to themselves, no James writhing with disgust, no Sirius silent with sadness as the words hit closer to home them any of them realised - all Remus was intent on was proving how Sirius, his boyfriend, but first and foremost his best friend, was perfect to him.

"Sirius is one of the most perfect, most amazing people I have ever met, okay? He's smart and funny, and gorgeous and clever! He's so talented I can't even explain, easily the bravest Gryffindor imaginable and the most caring, loving person. He shows me love I've never known before. Sirius protects me, looks after me! He knows exactly how to cheer me up, calm me down, and I know how to do the same for him. He's done things for me you couldn't even  _ imagine  _ doing, all because he wanted to make me happy and show how much he loved me. Sirius is everything I could have asked for, and more, and to this day I wonder how I was lucky enough to deserve him as a friend, let alone for him to love me back! He's my damn soulmate and I would never, ever consider trading him out for someone like you." 

Without another word; without looking at the stunned faces of his friends, the other houses or the teachers, Remus turned, running past the other Gryffindors and out of the Great Hall.

He ran all the way back to the dorms, shouting at himself as he did.

What the hell was he thinking, saying all that?! He should have just told Brady to bugger off and leave it at that. Instead, he'd given a stupid, great speech in front of most of the school. It would have been more efficient to grab Sirius by the shoulder and just scream 'I'm madly and hopelessly in love with you!'

Sure, the school must  _ really  _ believe he and Sirius were together now, and Brady was sure to get the hint, but what was Padfoot going to think?! Could Remus pass it off as all fake? Just something to play the part well?

"Nice acting."

Sirius caught up with his friend only a few minutes after the brunette made it back to the dorms, and Remus could see how his eyes were still darkened, now a little bloodshot, and he didn't even want to  _ think  _ about why to save himself his own heartache.

"Uh, yeah." Remus shrugged, already too exhausted at 11am to try to sound convincing. He was sat on his bed, chin resting on the knees he had pulled close to his chest. At least Sirius thought he was just pretending - that was something at least.

"Are you alright?" Asked Sirius as he made his way to stand at the foot of Remus's bed.

"Am I alright? Never mind me, Pads! Are you okay? The things he said, he shouldn't have-"

He cut himself off as he felt a weight next to him cause the bed to dip, and suddenly Sirius was next to him and his arm was thrown over Remus's shoulders.

"It's okay, Rem! I heard the same stuff before we even started first year, remember? Snape came into our compartment on the train and said some nasty shit. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be," Remus grumbled under his breath, leaning into Sirius's side. He was going to ask why Sirius was cuddling him - they might have been affectionate friends, but this was a whole other level - but chose to keep quiet. It just allowed him to pretend this was all real for just a moment.

"There are a lot of things neither of us should be used to, my moonlight, but we are anyway. But, when I have my  _ valiant boyfriend _ to stick up for me, it's all worth it!" Sirius teased, nudging Remus a little before reaching up to play with his hair. "You really sounded like you meant it all, too."

"I did..." Remus said, eyes slowly closing as he suddenly felt sleepy again. "I meant it. You mean a lot to me, and I wasn't going to sit by and let him insult my best friend.

"Yeah, true. What are best friends are for, right?" Sirius's voice was a little tense.

"Mmh."

Remus wasn't sure when he'd drifted off to sleep, between the tiredness from the morning's fiascos and the feeling of Sirius's hand running through his hair. He hadn't even realised he was asleep until he emerged from his slumber to the sound of the dorm door closing. He kept his eyes screwed tightly shut, listening to the oncoming conversation.

"Is he alright?" Peter's voice was quiet, timid.

"Are you alright?" James's voice followed, a little louder.

"Yes, I'm fine," Sirius whispered, "Now hush! He got himself really worked up over it and passed light out." Remus could still feel his hand slipping through his locks comfortingly. 

"Yeah, he got really mad. I've not seen him shout like that since maybe third year." Peter said, also whispering. "What was all that with Brady anyway? I didn't even know he and Remus knew each other."

"He'd been trying to get Remus's attention. It made me realise I needed to make my move before I lost Moony to someone else, but Brady didn't seem to take the news so well..." 

Remus felt a shuffle, as though Sirius was shrugging.

"Ah, makes sense," James spoke up, "Well, Pete and I are going to head to the library for a bit before Apparation Class - trying to find more info on that charm for Moony's prank idea."

"Okay, I'll stay here until he wakes up."

"Alright."

Remus heard the dorm room door close again, and Sirius snuggled closer to Remus.

"Thank you, Moonshine..." He mumbled happily.

Remus found himself lulled back into a content sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I hope still enjoyable!  
> My friends and I were talking about how first kisses are rarely every cute and perfect, and are normally really awkward! And this happened-
> 
> Warning - mildmildmild homophobia, and worries about coertion, even though everything is consensual (Remus is just dumb!)

Remus smiled, shovelling a forkful of cottage pie into his mouth, groaning happily at the taste. James and Peter shot him questioning looks, but he brushed it off as he continued to eat with his friends. Four weeks had passed since the incident with Brady, and he and Sirius had determined it safe enough to eat with everyone in the Great Hall again, rather than sneaking off to the kitchens before class or heading off to evening activities.

Brady had, other than a few nasty glares, left Remus and Sirius alone - abandoned his stalking, made no attempt to slip any potions to the brunette and refrained from harassing Sirius again (likely from fear of Remus bursting out in anger again).

"I forgot how good it is to eat with my friends..." Remus muttered, mouth full of food, talking to himself but loud enough for only Sirius to hear.

"I can imagine! But it's all over now," Sirius replied, sad smile on his lips.

Neither of the boys had approached the topic of the 'break up', and Remus just couldn't bring himself to do it!

For the four weeks they'd been together, Sirius was no less than a perfect boyfriend! He was loving, intentive, never let his eye wander and Remus couldn't help but fall further and further in love with him. Their weekends to Hogsmeade were treated as dates (Sirius even took him on the cutest trip to the bookstore the second time, where they both picked out a book for one another and then read them together, leaning against a nearby tree and basking in the sunlight). They'd cuddle in the evenings, hold hands in the corridors, pass adorably cringy love notes in class; one too many was read out to the class by McGonagal; and Remus wouldn't change a moment of it. He often found himself lost in the fantasy when he'd have his head in Sirius's lap when they'd curl up on the common room sofa in the evenings -  _ this is what Sirius is like as a boyfriend _ , he'd think as his hair was played with, twirled around thin pale fingers,  _ it's almost like this is real. _ But, as Remus knew better than most, all good things must come to an end, and he couldn't force Sirius to act like he was in love with him for any longer.

"Actually, about that, Sirius," Remus began, lips around the rim of his drinking goblet. He spoke low enough for, once again, only Sirius to be able to hear, grateful for James's loud laughter and Mary and Peters incessant talking (Marlene and Dorcas were simply staring adoringly into one another's eyes, and Lily was scowling at whatever joke Potter had made). "I wonder if you could wait with me once everyone else has left for the dorms? I think we should, uh, talk."

Sirius's expression faltered, falling from the sad grin to despondent. He looked down to his plate, the corner of his lip twitching up in a pathetic attempt for a smile.

"I- uh, yeah, I guess we do..."

Remus tried to push down the strange feeling of guilt at Sirius's reaction (why would he be feeling guilty? Sirius would  _ want  _ him to break up with him!) and found himself sucked into the conversation happening around them.

"...and yeah! So that's how it happened! Super romantic and all that!" Dorcas beamed. Peter and Mary seemed to have shuffled a little closer together during the discussion, and even Lily and James were wearing matching enamoured expressions, the latter flicking his gaze over to the ginger girl opposite him.

"Hm? Sorry, zoned out there! How what happened?" Sirius perked up, doleful expression swiftly gone as he turned his attention back to his friends.

"Mine and Marls first kiss!" She chirped, smile still as wide as before. "We had a late-night walk around the edge of the forbidden forest! A run-in with Filtch, Marlene thinking she saw a giant spider and a whole lot of laughs later, she kissed me."

"That's so sweet," Lily swooned, "So unique and perfect! It's so much nicer than just some basic we went for dinner and kissed after. Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

Mary and Peter hummed in agreement, looking intently at one another, and Remus could almost see James taking notes in his mind as he continued to watch Lily.

"Yeah, that's cute," Sirius confirmed.

"Well, what about you two?" James asked, mouth full of mashed potato and nodding towards Sirius and Remus. They sat close, thighs pressed together and elbows gazing.

"What about us?" Remus threw back.

"First kiss! How'd it happen?!"

"Come to think of it, I've not seen you two kiss at all since you got together!" Said Peter, looking suspiciously between them.

_ Oh, fuck. _

"We haven't-"

"WELL!" Sirius interrupted loudly, "Rem was still a little nervous about kissing in front of people! You know, in case of some of those who were raised by Muggles wouldn't be too pleased," He played off smoothly, not letting on the fact that they hadn't kissed, and, as Remus assumed,  _ wouldn't be  _ kissing.

"Okay then, when was your first kiss?"

"When I told him I loved him, of course!"

"In the astronomy tower?"

"Mhm!"

"So, you two have been dating for, what, a month now? And we've never seen you kiss?" James smirked, eyes flickering between Remus and his 'boyfriend'.

"Potter, leave them be," Lily scolded, kicking him under the table again.

"No, no, Evans! Come on, they're Hogwarts cutest couple, after all! I just wanna see one little kiss!" 

Remus felt his heart sink as Sirius replied.

"No, Prongs! Not gonna happen!"

Was Sirius  _ that  _ disgusted with the thought of kissing Remus?

"Why not?"

"Because," Sirius said with a sigh, now taking Remus's hand in his own, "I don't want to make My Moon uncomfortable, okay? Everything is on his terms," He smiled.

So Sirius  _ really  _ doesn't want to kiss him. Okay then.

Maybe that was a good thing. It's not like Remus would be any good at it, anyway.

Remus  _ almost  _ had his first kiss in the summer between third and fourth year. He'd met a muggle girl back in the village at home, and they spent every day hanging out. They'd work on school projects in one another's company - Remus somehow bluffing that he was learning about Trigonometry, not Hinkypunks and Grindilow - and spent free time wandering around the town square. A week or so before Remus was set to return to 'boarding school', the girl tried to kiss him, exclaiming loudly when Remus pushing him away.

_ "What, are you gay or something?" _ She'd hissed with repulsion. Remus's silence was deafening. 

As she stormed off back home, never to be seen again, Remus realised he was only drawn to her wavy black hair and rather cynical humour.

"I-its okay, Siri. It's just the once, right?" Remus shrugged, hoping his voice was as nonchalant as he'd intended. He'd resigned himself to having an uninteresting first kiss with someone who he didn't really love a long time ago. Not when he knew Padfoot would never return his feelings. Part of him, despite his better judgement, clung to that tiny piece of hope that Sirius would be his first kiss. It was disgusting, really, to consider that - to consider that he wanted it when Sirius didn't, but here he was anyway). Maybe it would be the ticket to finally getting over Sirius? Kiss him once, realise there's no spark, no perfect 'first kiss' moment, and that was that, he could finally move on.

"Are you sure?" Sirius chewed on his lip nervously, asking more than if it was just okay to kiss Remus, but to be the first kiss that Remus had been going on and on about since first year.

"Only if you are," Remus assured. He might be in love, but he was by no means a creep.

Sirius didn't even respond, just surged forwards the few centimetres he needed, unceremoniously crashing his lips to Remus's and pulling back faster than Remus could even register. 

He sat there, stunned.

_ That was it? _

Remus didn't know a thing about kissing, not really, but he'd seen Peter stick his tongue down Mary's throat plenty of times and heard enough about Sirius's broom cupboard escapades to know that was a  _ pathetic  _ kiss if he'd ever seen one!

James seemed to agree.

"Come on, lads! Really? You can do better than that!" James laughed; background noise was a collective agreement from their friends, and now a few onlooking students from further down the table.

"James-"

"No!" He interrupted Sirius goodnaturedly, "Just one proper kiss, guys! Then we won't bug you about it again!"

Seeing that he wasn't going to worm his way out of this one, Sirius shifted his body to face Remus, and cupped his face with his hands. He moved a little closer to an unbearably flustered Remus, who could do nothing more than stare, eyes wide. Now  _ this  _ felt a little more like the first kiss Remus had always imagined, and with Sirius nonetheless. He couldn't pinpoint the moment he'd died and gone to heaven, but he knew things like this didn't happen back on earth.

Sirius was now only a few millimetres from him, eyes flicking between looking at Remus's own and then down to his lips.

"I'm sorry," He whispered lowly, breath tickling over Remus's pink lips and flushed skin.

"Why?" Remus whispered back, leaning forward a little more.

"Because..." Sirius trailed off, closing the gap between them and softly kissing Remus.

Remus didn't know what to do, sitting frozen for a few moments as he drowned out the sounds of the cheers from around them. He realised Sirius had closed his eyes and moved his lips a little, and  _ shit, why had he agreed to this?!  _ He didn't have a clue what to do!

He closed his eyes, perhaps a little too fast to seem natural, and let instinct take over as he parted his lips a little. His hands came to Sirius's side, grabbing him lightly by the waist and moving a little closer. Dragging across his bottom lip was the tip of Sirius's tongue, and he couldn't help the small gasp that slipped out as he felt it. He wondered, briefly, if this looked like a romantic, passionate kiss between two people very much in love, and not a clumsy, awkward kiss between two liars - one very much in love, and the other just trying to be helpful.

Suddenly, Sirius parted his lips a little more, moved a little closer and moved one of his hands to rest on the top of Remus's thigh, slipping a little higher. Remus could hear, could  _ feel  _ him moan ever so quietly into his mouth, and he  _ panicked _ .

His hands came to Sirius's shoulders, and he shoved his friend backwards until he collided with Marlene's side.

"Bloody hell guys!" James laughed loudly over the cheering from the rest of the group, and now many more students from other tables that had seen the whole thing go down. The couple were really going to have to get used to being stared at if they kept up with how they were going.

"Yeah, calm down! We don't need to see you shagging across the table!" Mary cackled, clutching at her side as she and Peter leant against each other in laughter.

Panting, Remus looked over at Sirius, and could barely register the look of hurt across Sirius's face.  _ What the hell had he just done? _ Sirius didn't want any of this! He was just trying to help him out! Now Remus was more than just the queer werewolf, he was the queer werewolf who'd coerced his best friend into kissing him!

Sirius sat in shock, lips still parted as he tried to catch his breath, hair a little ruffled and shirt a touch out of place. He looked  _ perfect _ .

But now wasn't the time for Remus's feeling to be creeping back up his throat. He needed to get out of there! He needed to get away from Sirius, and fast.

Shooting up, Remus looked down At Sirius one last time.

"Rem, w-what's-"

"I need to go!" He cried, and spun on his heel. 

He ran. And ran, and ran, and ran, and he wasn't sure when he stopped.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done!! Hope you all enjoyed <3<3

Remus's chest felt on fire. His throat was burning and eyes were stinging with tears that were threatening to spill.

"Rem! Moony!" A familiar voice shouted down the seventh-floor corridor. 

He didn't want to turn around, he didn't want to see the look of disgust on Sirius's face, but he had to. He had to face him sooner or later.

"What, Sirius?" Remus hissed, trying to hide the pain in his voice as he turned on his heel to see Sirius only a few metres away.

He didn't look disgusted, far from it. Just hurt.

"Why d-did you run off?" He panted, palm on his chest.

"Because!"

"Because..?"

"Because I just kissed you!" Remus cried, a single tear trailing down his cheek.

A huff of silent laughter slipped from Sirius's lips and his shoulders shook a little.

"I believe it was me who kissed you." 

"But you didn't want to, Sirius! You were just trying to help out..." Remus grumbled, watching how Sirius seemed to take a step back.

"No, Rem, I did-"

"We need to break up." His voice was firm, unmoving. "Well, stop whatever this is. It's not fair. I can't do it anymore.

Sirius's face fell. He no longer looked hurt. No, he looked heartbroken. Remus had just totally ruined the friendship with his best friend over this, hadn't he? Six years of laughs, pranks, hugs and love, ruined over a stupid cover story.

Stepping back forward, closer to Remus this time, Sirius plastered an obviously fake smile on his face, slipping his hands through his hair in feigned nonchalance.

"I-uh, yeah, of course. Yeah, makes sense. Don't- don't need to pretend now, right?" 

"Right."

"Okay."

"Good."

Remus looked up at Sirius, who was looking right back at him through messy dark bangs, eyes shining too much for someone who wasn't trying to cry. They hovered in an awkward silence, both unsure of what to do next. Parting his lips, Remus tried to speak before Sirius began first.

"We're still best friends though, right?" He asked before Remus could ask him the same thing. His lip was caught between his teeth, gnawing on it anxiously, and his eyes stayed fixated on Moony.

"Sirius..." Remus said curiously, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you sorry?"

Eyes widening, Sirius began to shuffle on the spot, hopping from one foot to another. He wrung his hands together, and his lip became dented with deep teeth marks. He looked awfully uncharacteristic for a Black, even if he was formally no longer part of the family.

"Sirius."

"W-well, you see, Moonshine-" He began, sighing. "You see, while we've been lying to everyone else, I might have been telling a teeny, tiny little while lie myself..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. So, I may have, just a little, might have wanted to be dating you. For real."

_ What? _

Remus's heart lept, thumping hard against his ribs in excitement before dropping again almost instantly.

"You don't need to lie to make me feel better, Sirius."

"So, when you needed my help, I agreed. And even though you didn't want to kiss me, I kissed you anyway, but I really shouldn't have, and- Wait, what?" Sirius did a double-take, looking at Remus through narrowed eyes.

" _ I said _ , you don't need to lie to make me feel better." Remus hissed sharply, eyes narrowing at Sirius, who stepped closer.

"I'm- I'm not, okay? I swear!"

"Siri-"

"No, Rem, you let me speak!" Sirius shouted, voice echoing against the bare walls of the corridor, shaking Remus who flinched, trying not to cover his ears on instinct.

Sirius couldn't start talking, he just couldn't! He couldn't expect Remus to stand there and hear all about how he'd ruined their friendship, how he'd never love him back, never love a  _ monster. _ He couldn't do it.

"I- Oh, boy, I never thought I'd ever be doing this and this is so much harder than I thought. So, uh-" He exhaled loudly, letting his shoulders drop. "I'm in love with you, Moony. I kinda always have been." 

Sirius shrugged. Shrugged as if it was no big deal and everything Remus had dreamt of since second year was coming true.

"...What?"

"Yeah. The first time I saw you on that carriage back before we even started, I just knew you were... different. Good different. Like eleven year old me knew I'd fall in love with you. A-and I did. Obviously. But I thought, ya know, you're straight and would never like someone like me, and then you weren't straight, and the only thing in the way was that you would never like me. So when you needed a boyfriend, even if it was fake, I thought 'fuck it', why not? Its the only chance I'd get, right? But then I went and kissed you even though you didn't want to, and I feel so so gross. And now, as well as not being your boyfriend, I probably can't even be your friend, either. 

So, yeah. There's that."

Remus opened his mouth, words caught in this throat, and he closed his lips once again. This happened again, then a third time, and every time he did, he could hear Sirius's heart shattering behind his ribs, his eyes darkening with rejection. 

_ "It's not rejection!" _ Remus wanted to scream, wanted to grab the other boy by the shoulders and wanted to kiss him - properly, with no peer pressure or awkward onlookers or expectations or lying.

"I know you don't feel the same, and it'll all be on your terms, alright?" Sirius choked out, voice cracking as tears spilt from his eyes, trailing down his cheeks in wet tracks and beading by the corner of his lips. "I-if you want to be friends still, you decide everything. I'll be out of the room when you change, I won't hug you, whatever makes you comfortable. I just want you to be happy."

**_ You  _ ** _ make me happy. _

Sirius crying was a rare sight. He saw it during Halloween in second year, again when he'd ran from home and Remus flooed to the Potters as soon as he caught word, and then just now, caused by him. 

The sight of Sirius so broken, so dishevelled, was enough to snap Remus out of his trance-like shock.

_ Sirius Black was in love with him. _

"I love you too," Remus finally said, voice quiet and breaking.

"Huh?" Sirius's own voice was shallow and cracking.

"I'm in love with you too."

"You are?" He wiped the tears with the back of his hand, sniffing lightly.

"Y-yeah. I am."

"Oh."

They stood facing each other awkwardly, shuffling around, before Sirius's mouth widened into a bright grin, tears forgotten.

"Y-you love me too. He- you, you love me, I-" His words came out broken, shocked, and he tossed his head back and forth in disbelief, before suddenly looking up. "Right! Give me, uh, what time is it? You know what, just- just come to the Astronomy Tower in ten minutes! Ten? Yeah, that should be enough! Just, yeah! Astronomy Tower!" 

He abruptly turned on his heel, dashing off down the corridor before Remus could even nod to him!

What the  _ hell  _ was Sirius off doing now? He wasn't even running in the direction of the tower!

With all of a sudden having time to kill, Remus strolled along the corridors, taking a long route through various secret passages to get to the tower, ponding over everything that had just happened.

Whatever happened now, whatever happened with other people, with Brady, with the brewing war, with whatever, it didn't matter.  _ Sirius loved him back _ ! After 5 years of heartache, he knew. Sirius loved him for who he was and it was  _ perfect _ .

(He'd had his first kiss, too -a lot less perfect, rather awkward, and even just the thought of it made Remus cringe, but at least it was only up from there.)

Remus began walking up the steps to the tower, and as he reached the last few, he could hear soft music, crackled and soothing, echoing around the top of the tower. Reaching the last step was like walking into some sort of fairytale. There were floating candles everywhere, glowing in the darkness of the winter moon. Off to the side was the phonograph from their dorm room, a record on top of it spinning slowly, playing the Fleetwood Mac album James had bought for them not too long before. By one of the railings was a red picnic blanket, covered with various chocolates and sweets and fruits in a gorgeous spread. Best of all, however, Remus insisted in his mind, was Sirius sat on the blanket looking over the Black Lake, not noticing Remus step up onto the top platform.

Nor did he noticed Remus until he's walked over and sat down next to him, cross-legged and smiling. 

"What's all this then?" Remus smirked teasingly, knowing  _ exactly  _ what it was.

"Well," Sirius smiled, picking up a Chocolate Frog box and turning it over and over again in his hand, "This is what I told everyone our first date was. But, it's what I always wanted our first date do be," He shrugged again.

"You keep doing that," Remus pointed out.

"Doing what?"

"Shrugging."

"Oh, yeah. I'm trying to convince myself this is no big deal, you know? Like I'm not finally on a date with the boy I've been in love with for six years and that he actually loves me back and I still can't quite believe it." Sirius grinned sheepishly, shuffling a little closer to Remus until their hands, both palm down in the blanket, were just millimetres apart.

"Well, I am in love with you, and I'll never be falling out of love with you. You're stuck with me now!" Remus laughed.

"When did you realise?" Sirius queried, opening the box of the Chocolate Frog and offering it to Remus.

"Realised I was in love with you?" He took a bite from the chocolate as Padfoot nodded, "Well- uh, honestly, it was after everything happened during Halloween in our second year."

"Rem!" Sirius shouted, amusement in his voice, "I looked so gross! That was when you realised you were in love with me?!"

"Yes, you vain idiot! You were crying and so distraught and shouting at me not to listen to them, and you'd just found out I was a werewolf, and I guess it just hit me that I loved you as more than a friend... and I never thought you'd love me back."

Sirius's hand moved over a little and he placed it on top of Remus's. They'd done this a thousand times now over the past few weeks, but it hit Remus like a tidal wave that this was real. He clung to Sirius's hand as though it was the only thing keeping him grounded, stopping him from floating away with pure joy and delight. 

They continued to eat, and chat, moving form holding hands to leaning against one another, watching the sky and the water from beyond the railings of the tower. Sirius moved to play with Remus's hair as they spoke of school, their friends, Remus's family, and every other topic they could think of. At another time, they shuffled to sitting opposite one another, and started throwing Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans at each other, trying to catch them in their mouths (on more than one occasion, both boys had to stand up, lean over the railings and spit out whatever disgusting flavour they'd come across.)

At one point, they both ended up standing, shoulder to shoulder and leaning against the railing. Sirius's hand made his way around Remus's back, gripping his side lightly and pulling him closer. Settling his head on his friend's shoulder, Remus smiled to himself.

"So, am I the reason you never had your first kiss?" Sirius asked genuinely, not teasing.

"I guess so? A girl tried to kiss me in the summer before our fourth year-"

"Muggle?"

"Yeah, so that ended as well as you can imagine. Pushed me off, looked grossed out, never saw her again. I think a tiny little bit of me hoped that you'd be my first kiss. A bit stupid, really," Remus chuckled, mostly to himself, as he felt himself being spun around by Sirius, until they were face to face. Both his hands were encased by Sirius's, thumbs rubbing over the back of his wrists.

Sirius took a step forward until their noses were almost touching.

"Can we have a repeat? Try again without everyone else here and without prongs being a massive twat?"

Leaning the last little bit forward until their lips were ghosting over each other, barely a gap between them.

Remus whispered, "I think that would be okay," and pressed his lips to Sirius, light and innocent.

He parted his lips when Sirius did the same, kissing him slowly. Sirius dropped his hands, looping his arms instead around Remus's waist, as the latter moved his hands to the back of Sirius's hair, lacing his fingers in his hair and deepening the kiss. After a moment, Remus - using all the willpower he could muster - pulled back, for fear of the kiss getting too heated while they were out in the open, and rested his head on Sirius's forehead.

Sirius looked as perfect as he had in the Great Hall; lips shining, cheeks flushed and hair not quite as perfect as he normally had it, and Remus fell even more in love with him on the spot.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time..." Remus finally whispered, placing another chaste kiss on Sirius's lips and smiling against them.

"Me too," Sirius grinned, placing another kiss on Remus's cheek, then nose, then lips once again. Remus wondered if he could ever get bored of kissing Sirius, and vouched that it just wasn't possible, pulling him by the head in for another kiss.

"I'm so in love with you, Remus Lupin, from your fuzzy hair in the morning to your  _ unbelievably  _ sexy scars to the way you bite your lip when you're too focused on reading. I really do love everything about you, Moony."

"I love you too, Sirius. From your obsession with mirrors to your weird little stick and poke tattoos to the way you play with your hair when you get over-excited." Remus beamed, his heart swelling with affection.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Remus? For real?"

"No white lies?

"None at all!" Sirius kissed him once more, and Remus knew it had all been worth the wait.


End file.
